The Very Unofficial Ranking of Fruits

Fruit is nature's candy, you know.

If you don't get this reference, you need to watch more 90's Nickelodeon. 

Literally. The amount of sugar in fruits is pretty darn high. That's why they're so delicious! So while it's good to include more fruits in your diet, especially if they are replacing white sugar or processed goodies, it's really better to include even more vegetables in your diet. 

Even the more starchy root vegetables, like carrots, have less sugar per gram than the supposed healthiest of all fruits, the apple. 

100 grams of carrots: 4.7g sugar

100 grams of apple: 10g sugar

Now, of course, even the super sugary fruits are better for you than, say, a Snickers bar, 100g of which contains nearly 50g of sugar. 

For reference, the American Heart Association suggests that men not consume more than 37.5g of added sugar a day; women's limit is 25g. However, in 2008 the national average of added sugar consumption per day was a whopping 76.7g! (Reference)

So even if fruit salads are your go-to breakfast, snack, and dessert, you're probably still doing better than the general population. Especially since fruits, even with their sugar counts, are inherently better than junk food because of their fiber, water, vitamin A and vitamin C. 

Plus, look at this handy dandy chart:

Fuzzy navel with extra iron, please.

My Ranking

Now, the words "very unofficial" are in the title for a reason. Mainly because I didn't feel like doing a bunch of actual research for this blog post (Sorry guys. I know how much you love verifying my sources). 

So the characteristics upon which I based this ranking are:

• Taste
• Sugar content
• Ease of eating
• Versatility
• My own whimsy

In other words, this is up for debate, and I would to get your opinions.

Without further ado, my very unofficial ranking of fruits, from worst to best. 

10. Durian

Durian. Um. Okay.

This is the worst fruit for so many reasons. It has spikes on it and looks super difficult to open. Also, it has the texture of wall insulation and reeks of cream cheese and onion, or, as food writer Richard Sterling says, "its odor is best described as pig-shit, turpentine and onions, garnished with a gym sock." It is one of the three foods Andrew Zimmern, the guy who literally eats disgusting foods for a living, won't even touch. Legend has it the flesh actually tastes good, but I'm not one to take risks.

9. Watermelon

Actual size when I attempt to grow it.

The name says it all. Watermelon is 93% water. It's hard to grow, hard to carry home from the supermarket, nearly impossible to open without losing a finger, and then once you do, it's full of seeds, and it tastes like lightly flavored crunchy water. Oh, and if you eat a whole watermelon in one sitting, it gives you the runs. No. Just, no.

8. Apples

Beautiful now. Painful later.

It's not that I don't like apples. I used to eat apples every single day. They're absolutely delicious. Then why so far down the line? Apples are chock-full of fructose. The only things with more fructose than raw apples are soda, honey, agave, and concentrated apples. 

What's so bad about fructose? Nothing, really, if you're not sensitive to it. But if you are, it can lead to  abdominal pain, diarrhea, bloating, and excessive gas. And it turns out I'm super sensitive to fructose. Bye-bye apples. You're just not worth it. 

7. Cherries

Cherries. Insert some immature joke here.

If someone can find me a bag of seedless cherries, I'll move these up a few numbers. Until then, these choking hazards sit at number 8. 

6. Bananas

You can have those bananas, buddy.

On the surface, bananas are great. They're versatile, able to be baked or blended into a smoothie to make it creamy without cream. They can be frozen into a faux ice cream. They come in their own neat little packages that can go with you anywhere. 

However. 

One banana contains 14g of sugar, and 27g of carbohydrates. Which is excellent if you're about to run a marathon or need to recover from a heavy strength training workout. But most people aren't doing that. They walked 3 miles on a treadmill and then grab a banana-kiwi smoothie "protein shake" like it's doing them good. It's actually just spiking their blood sugar for no good reason, making them more likely to become insulin resistant. 

Sorry if my opinion offends your love of bananas, but hey, if you want to read your own opinions, get your own blog.

5. Pineapple

Sweet tropical deliciousness!

Pineapples are known to boost your immune system, increase bone strength, protect your eyes, and aid in digestion. Plus, if you mix it with rum, it makes all your worries go away.

4. Pomegranate

Jewels and crowns. The food of royalty. 

Pomegranate probably doesn't really come to mind when you think of fruits. But it's a great one, perfect to top salads with or just munch on as a replacement for chips while you're watching the game. 

The only thing is: how the hell do you get those tiny seeds out without breaking them all?

Cut the pomegranate in half. Hold one half, cut side down, in your left hand, and the knife in your right. Using the wide side of the knife, whack the top and sides of the pomegranate gently, loosening the seeds, which will fall out through your fingers and into the bowl you placed underneath. Repeat with other half. You're welcome. 

3. Peaches

Peaches. Yumm...

The taste of peaches is so sweet, so summery, so utterly peach-y, that they are my favorite underrated fruit. The difficulty of them is finding them in season and when they're perfectly ripe, but when you do? Such heaven. 

I really have nothing else to say about peaches. I just really like them. 

2. Citrus Fruits

Limes, lemons, and oranges. Oh my!

These colorful fruits have packed in a lot of nutrients and fiber with such distinct and mouth-watering tastes. Flavanoids in tangerines might fight type 2 diabetes. All the citrus fruits have all or nearly all of your daily requirement of immune-boosting vitamin C. They're good on their own, or squeezed into water for a low-calorie, sugar-free, refreshing drinks, and their zests add flavor (and an element of fanciness) to any dish. They're cheap and they have a long shelf life. What's not to love?

1. Berries

Sweet, tart, and gosh darn good for you!

Did you guess it?

Berries are magical. They have a low glycemic index (meaning they won't spike your blood sugar even though they're sweet), they have tons of antioxidants, and studies have shown they can help you lose weight and even lower your blood pressure. 

You can cook them down into a warm pie-like filling, or blend them in smoothies, or eat them raw in a bowl! You can make healthy sugar-free jams at home with them, or include them in a chia seed, raw unsweetened coconut salad (delicious as dessert). 

What do you think of my list? What would your list include? Let me know in the comments below!

Lift.Eat.Love.Sleep.